Snippet: On Body Hair
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Lynn and I sat at a table in front of The Lady of Refreshment. The cafe was quiet, the morning rush had passed and lunchtime hadn’t arrived yet. I blew on my green tea. Lynn cradled her mug of coffee between her hands to warm the exposed skin. Frost still clung to the stones of the city, from cobblestones to city walls. Winter hadn’t arrived yet, but it peeked over the walls in anticipation.
“How can you wear cap sleeves in this weather?” Lynn asked, eyeing my bare arm as I lifted the tea to my lips.
“That’s why I’m wearing the cloak,” I answered. I set down my tea and hefted the fur lined collar of the cloak.
“But you have to reach your arms out of the cloak to drink. I can see the gooseflesh on your arms from here. You’re freezing.” Lynn stared at my arm as she spoke.
“Fashion has a price.” I shrugged.
Lynn continued to stare at my arm. I tried not to shiver, she would already be smug about this as things stood. She kept staring.
“You’re staring,” I said.
“Sorry,” She shrugged. “I’m just thinking about something odd. Have you noticed that you don’t have to shave your legs? Or anything for that matter? I ask, because we’ve been in Ossedei for two months now, and I haven’t had to shave once. I’m as hairless as a plastic doll everywhere below the eyebrows.”
I nodded, “I’ve noticed. It creeps me out. I appreciate not having to shave or similar. But I look like I escaped from an R-rated anime.”
“Have you asked your fiancees about it?”
I nodded, “I tried to be subtle. I didn’t want to sound ridiculous if it was normal.”
“And?”
“They had no idea what I was talking about. I tried another tactic, and asked if they liked how hairy men were.”
“What did that tell you?”
“It let me segue way into my preference for ladies being partly a hair thing. And then I asked casually, if they had ever wondered why women didn’t have hair on their bodies like men.”
“What if it was just the main characters in the game? You could have looked bizarre.”
“No, I planned to play it off as an exaggeration on my part. I would have said something like: obviously we have some, but not compared to the boys.”
“Okay, that’s reasonable. Clever even. So what was the answer?”
“They had no idea. They’d never thought about it. Men have body hair, women don’t. So what do you think? What’s behind this? Did one of the game designers have a fetish?”
“Maybe,” Lynn finished her coffee. “But I think it’s just as likely that men literally didn’t think about how the women in their lives achieve the hairless look.”
“So our bodies look like this either because the designers were perverts or oblivious chauvinists?”
“Oblivious? Yes. Chauvinists? No more than any other man on Earth.”
I smiled and gulped my tea to catch up. “I do enjoy the lack of sexism in Ossedei. Obviously Hyperborea and Thule are exceptions to that, but that’s only two states in all of Ossedei. That’s solid.”
“I guess we’ll get used to this eventually. Along with all the other differences,” Lynn said.
“I’m going to nickname you Barbie,” I said with a wink.
“You are not.” She paused. “Changing the subject, it occurs to me that we have both noticed a large number of differences between Earth and Ossedei.”
“We would expect to though, right? That isn’t surprising.”
“No. But the differences themselves can be surprising. Some are silly and harmless, like this. But others might not be. And we live at different houses under different circumstances. We are likely to encounter differences that the other doesn’t. We could trade surprises. Meet here once a week and swap stories so that we minimize the number of times we look weird to our new families and colleagues.”
“That’s a good idea,” I nodded. I don’t think the people here could conceive of the idea of being pulled into a video game. It’s just too out of context. But I could see them deciding we were possessed or otherwise under the control of something evil. And I don’t know how they would respond.”
“I’m confident that they would try to help us,” Lynn said, “I worry, though, that their help might kill us.”
“There’s a comforting thought.” I responded.
“So let’s meet and swap secrets.”
“Sure. I’ve got no objections. Fiona and Amy love when I visit you. I think they feel guilty about separating us.”
“Which they didn’t do. You did that.”
“They think they pressured me into it. I can’t convince them otherwise.”
“I’m surprised they don’t think we’re having an affair.”
“It wouldn’t be an affair. Neither of us is married yet. And anyways, Fiona would know. She’d be able to see it in my aura.”
“You’re marrying a woman who can read your mind.”
“I’m marrying a woman who can read my aura, big difference.”
“Seems pretty similar to me.”
I shrugged, “I’d never cheat on her. So either way, I’m fine.”
“Until you aren’t twenty one anymore and want the young thing in the ball gown at the next Myrddhin House party.”
“Then I’ll ask the ladies if they want to bring in a fourth for a one time tryst.”
Lynn snorted and smiled, “Your luck is so good it’s obscene. Marrying both women you love, openly and together, and you did all that and stayed a noble.”
“You make it sound so easy. I killed a man during the Octavian Affair. I helped kill two more. That isn’t something I ever expected to do.” I said, wiping imaginary blood from my hands onto my maxi dress. “I get debilitating visions that leave me unable to walk. I got nearly eaten by a werewolf at least four times. It wasn’t a bed of roses.”
“Maybe it was. Roses have thorns after all.”
“That’s true.” I said. “Alright, maybe it was a bed of thorns.”
Read more in "Daughters of the Digital Empire," Available soon!
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