On Sports
The Lady of Refreshment hummed with conversation. I heard words like batsman and wicket rolling through the murmurs. Lynn sipped her drink quietly. I tapped my spoon on my saucer in annoyance at the noise until Lynn gently put a hand on top of my own, stopping my tapping.
“You’re fidgeting.” Lynn said.
“I know that I am. I just can’t follow cricket yet. And I didn’t expect cricket to be the most popular sport in Ys. There weren’t any sports mini-games in Moonlight Hearts.”
“No, but the game is nominally based on Regency era England. And cricket was the game of the moment. Well that, horse racing, and boxing.”
“Thrilling.” I said, keeping my face carefully deadpan.
“I know you aren’t a sports fan Ren,” Lynn said, “But the cricket championships bring in so much money for the barony. People buy tickets. People buy snacks. People bet on the games, and everything else. And the state taxes the tickets. It taxes the food. And it runs all legal gambling. The duchy of Delmar gets the majority of the proceeds, but baronies and counties get a fair share as well. The Octavo Stallions making it to the championships means that I’ll have a budget surplus this year. This is brilliant for my budget.”
I shrugged, “Well okay, I’m glad to hear that. But that doesn’t make cricket any less mystifying. I mean, I don’t like boxing, but I can follow it. I’m only mildly interested in horse racing, but I can understand what’s happening. I can’t follow cricket at all. I even bought a book: The Ladies Guide to Enjoying Cricket. I think the author wrote it as a joke. It didn’t help at all.”
“Why would you even bother? You never cared about sports before.” Lynn asked.
“Amy is a diehard Stallions fan.” I said.
“Ah, this is for your spouse’s benefit. That’s adorable.” Lynn paused, “Did you ever do anything like this back on Earth?”
“You know I didn’t date back on Earth,” I pointed out. “I got drunk and slept with girls who would pretend they weren’t into girls when they woke up the next morning.”
Lynn coughed into her coffee, “Seriously? A person’s sexuality doesn’t change because they’re drunk. How often did you get that rubbish the next morning?”
“More than twice,” I answered. I stared at my green tea in frustration for a moment. “That’s the main reason I like Ys so much. People don’t have any hang ups about my being gay. The only thing that confuses people is that Lady Karen was a notorious femme fatale and man-eater before I dropped into her body. That, and the fact that living in Ys seems to have made me more romantically assertive. I’d have never hit on Amy back on Earth. Not even as hesitantly as I did.”
“So you got really lucky then. I just got work.” Lynn said.
“You got Leon. Don’t sell the beanpole short, he’s a good man. And I know for a fact that he satisfies you in other ways.”
Lynn turned beet red, “You do, don’t you? I lock my bedroom door whenever I’m alone with him now. You know that, right? Regardless of what we’re doing. It’s automatic.”
I giggled, and took a sip of my tea. “You know to score your runs in private at least.”
“Was that a cricket euphemism?” Lynn asked.
“I’m trying here.”
“It was terrible.”
“I’m still trying.”
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